Are You Living The Life You Choose

By Kenny Lee | Life

Mar 17
Are You Living The Life You Choose

Are You Living The Life You Choose

Or are you living based on someone’s expectation of what your life should be? The majority of us would happily live a life that has been paved out by our parents and society without questioning much of it. We are often afraid to disappoint the expectation of our parents and dare not stray too far from the stereotypical definition by the society of what our life should be.

Although those who shaped our lives often do so with good intention, our life when not built on our OWN foundation of belief and purpose will crumble eventually. It is only a matter of time before some events shatter the pillars and unearthed the very foundation of the path we have traveled so far.

An honest question to your heart.

When we are brought down to our knees by failure in life or have lost someone we loved, the world as we know it often shatters, leaving us disoriented and full of doubts. Business failure, bankruptcy, divorce, death, critical illness, these often brought quite similar emotion that forced us to take an honest look back at the meaning of our existence.

The collapse of our emotional shield, the fall of our ego, this moment of weakness can be turned into a transformation if we dare to ask the question that we so dread to answer. Do NOT ask “If I could start again…” for it is impractical and does not lead to any betterment in us.

The right question will be “Is my current life capable of bringing fulfillment to my spiritual self?” Your heart will immediately give you the purest form of an answer. Listen and heed your heart.

It doesn’t matter what religion do you believe or if you do not have one. Spiritual fulfillment is a very special joyful feeling that transcends your religious belief. For me, this feeling came when I am able to give help to those in need with a pure heart.

Your purpose

When the life we have been living is in fact merely existing, we are then lost and misguided. It is imperative that we take a quiet trip down our heart to ponder on our life purpose or the lack of it. For when we are living without purpose, our vision and the action that followed, are often based on the influence of the society or as a continuance from our upbringing.

If your heart told you that your life has thus far has been built and guided by the hand of others, then be courageous and take this moment to affirm that you shall be the owner of your life this moment on. Seek your purpose in life that fulfills you spiritually, as they are both mutually connected. When you have found that very purpose, your vision, your goal, and your new path will naturally reveal itself.

A life, truly yours

Are You Living The Life You Choose

Are You Living The Life You Choose

As you have sorted out what drives you ahead, you will then have the courage to make a transition from what has been to what will be. Be grateful though to those who have shaped you to where you are today, but be firm with your new found purpose and take charge of the direction of your life.

It is never easy, to stop in life and question the very foundation of your life that is built on. It is even tougher to listen to your heart and to admit if you have been living under the shadow of others expectation. And it takes enormous courage and determination, to rediscover your purpose and to rebuild your life from there.

Are you living a life of your own choosing? Or are you merely following the motion? 

About the Author

I am an engineer-turned-writer who once struggle with social anxiety. After overcoming problems inflicted by low self-esteem and the fear of interaction, I realize the need for taking a holistic approach in developing our mind. I'm sharing my experience, remedies, and techniques that interest me in my quest to be a better self.

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(16) comments

Renee Townsend March 17, 2016

When I was younger, maybe even less than 5 years ago, I used to be afraid of what my present would be if I could change the past. My life wasn’t perfect, but it was mine. I had my ups and downs but I wouldn’t want to give up the joys I’d experienced. These days, I do wonder what my life would be if I’d made different choices. The thing is, the choices we would have made wouldn’t be with the knowledge we have today. Hindsight is always 20/20. 🙂

As you said, it doesn’t matter what we should have done. What matters is what we can do today. When I think of the things I can do today, it gives me hope. I know it’s not too late to start on a new path. However, tomorrow isn’t promised, so today… right now is the time to start.

Reply
    Kenny Lee March 17, 2016

    Hi Renee Townsend,

    You are absolutely right. Our future is not defined by our past, but it is defined by our NOW. Change does not come easily to most people, and to admit that we have been living a life that is not of our choice is a huge blow to our ego. It is definitely not a too late to start a new path. Remember for that the end of a path is always a beginning if you would turn around.

    Kenny.

    Reply
Marilyn March 17, 2016

Thanks Kenny for this insightful message you’ve written to us. It made me stop and think a bit.

Definitely, the way I desired for myself way back when I was still at school, is not the path I travelled on. My way was decided by my father. When I questioned it I was told to be thankful for what I had.

But even though the path did not lead in the very direction I wanted, it didn’t stop me from answering that base need within me in other ways.

Great article.
Marilyn

Reply
    Kenny Lee March 17, 2016

    Marilyn,

    To walk the path of our own, require not only strength and courage, but also gratitude and thanks to those who have moulded us as to who we are today. I’m glad that you have the wisdom to see that.

    Those who are close to us, will always have our well-being in their mind, and for that, their intention is definitely noble. My belief is that, if we are to choose our own path, we have the responsibility to prove to them that we have the ability to do so.

    Choice comes with responsibility. All the best to you.

    Kenny

    Reply
Francesca Etheart March 17, 2016

Hello Kenny!

Your post have me really thinking about my life. Am I truly living or merely existing? I already know the answer to that question I’m merely existing.

Your right I’m merely doing what others expect of me, I’m not truly living. It’s not until recently I stated doing what I truly wanted to do.

That’s right I’m going for my dreams, which I had since I was young girl. Back then the sky was so blue. Sky’s the limit. I believed I could be anything I wanted to be. I still do. That spirit inside me never died. My spiritual self is always part of me.

You talk about our “spiritual self.” As we are not all religious that means something different to all of us. Your words speak clearly to us all regardless our spiritual belief. I think you for this informational post. I truly found it to be moving.

Good luck with life,
Francesca

Reply
    Kenny Lee March 17, 2016

    Hi Francesca,

    First of all, I would say WELL DONE to you for having the courage to face the truth and take hold of your life. The spark of energy, when we are young is always there. As time passes, it becomes clouded by other negative thoughts and doubts. And I believe what we have all we need to achieve our dreams, sometimes we just need a little reminding.

    What I’m trying to convey is beyond religion. I believe that finding our purpose, living our life, is the meaning of humanity itself.

    All the best to you too.

    Kenny

    Reply
tyler March 17, 2016

Hey Kenny you have a lot of info here and I hope your writing a book on this man. lol But I really like this post. keep up the good work.

Reply
    Kenny Lee March 18, 2016

    Hi Tyler,

    Thank you for enjoying the post. I’m not sure if I will be writing this book but writing this post is definitely part of the life I chose.

    Reply
Roger March 17, 2016

I found your message both disturbing and invigorating.

Disturbing because I had to admit, I am NOT leading the life I choose. Oh, I have plenty of others to blame for that, but you make me realize I am the only one responsible.

I certainly TRIED to live the life I chose! But I now realize I never fully understood exactly what I wanted, and hoped I would stumble across my true path.

Your words are invigorating because they make me face the fact that no matter what I did with all my yesterdays, I can TODAY start to live that life.

It ain’t easy, and I’ll certainly need more guidance, but I thank you for getting me onto the track of trying to find my genuine self.

Thank you and continue to inspire others!

Reply
    Kenny Lee March 18, 2016

    Hi Roger,

    First of all, well done to you for being honest to yourself and also the courage to start anew. And I admire your attitude of choosing not to blame but taking up responsibility. I can relate to you on the “never fully understood what you wanted” part, for that was my journey for the first 3 decades of my life. Everyone can discover my purpose, I will share how I discovered mine in one of my future post. All the best in life.

    Reply
Young March 23, 2016

Such a great topic to stop and think Kenny! Just like you said, I truly believe that life challenges are hard at the moment, but actually gifts for us. When I think about all the difficult times in my past, each one was a way of God communicating with me and an opportunity from Him to improve myself. When I chose to be proactive about my struggles, not victimize myself, I always felt one step closer to my true self and my purpose.
I used to live by expectations of others and common values of this society. It took a long time and a lot of courage for me to finally say no to that life and restart with purpose. I am so much happier now than ever, but still have so many battles to fight with myself, sometimes with judgement from others. It is a very difficult and lonely journey. I don’t know how others go through this, but to me… I wouldn’t be able to choose this journey without a relationship with the Creator.
I wish more people ask honest questions in their hearts, seek their own purpose and choose to live a life for themselves! Thanks for sharing always!

Reply
    Kenny Lee March 23, 2016

    Hi Young,

    It’s great to hear from you again. Take heart that you do not walk alone. As I’m writing this, I believe I am moving on to a new chapter of life. The challenges could only be tougher here on. I feel that we have only two choice, we are either stuck repeating the same life lessons over and over, or we just face whatever life throw us with, improve and proceed to the next lesson. There is no standing still in life, it is a continuous lesson.

    I do not wish to live based on a lie imposed by others. I’m glad you feel the same. All the best to you.

    Reply
Michelle May 24, 2016

Hi Kenny
Thank you for a brilliant article. I must admit I don’t live the life I want. Your post just reminded me again that we need to live the life we want and you need to use everything in your power to get that life.

All the best.
Michelle

Reply
    Kenny Lee May 25, 2016

    Hi Michelle,

    We can always start with an intention and then work toward the life that we desired. In most cases, we can’t just shutdown our current lifestyle and responsibilities as it is. But we can make a progressive plan and work hard towards it. It will definitely not be easy but I guess the result is more than worth it.

    Kenny

    Reply
ido September 28, 2016

Great post. Love it.
As an engineer, who felt something was missing from his life, I connect to what you write here on many levels.

I too felt that all though everything was fine on the outside, something was not right on the inside. I than started questioning my life and today I’m so thoroughly engaged in studying personal development for the benefit of myself and of others.

I coach people on how to life a more fulfilled life, based on their own values, and based on they believe in.

Love this post. Also love this site very much. I’m thrilled and excited that you are walking your new path!

Reply
    Kenny Lee September 29, 2016

    Hi Ido,

    Thanks for sharing your thought. As far as being an engineer, we have the same common root here. I checked out your site and you have a lovely site as well.

    Cheers,
    Kenny

    Reply
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