24

How To Let Go Of The Anger Before It Consumes You

Sometimes you react to your anger, sometimes you don’t. But did you let the emotion seep in and reside in you? And allow it builds up and explode when triggered? You can’t succumb to your anger and yet you can’t just let it build up like a volcano. It seems like there are not many choices in between. But it is possible to learn how to let go of the anger before it consumes you.How To Let Go Of The Anger Before

I think most of us would have mastered our emotion to a certain level. If you’ve been dealing with people in your career, you would have come across unreasonable people who are bound to get your blood boiling. You know those ever demanding clients who have no respect nor appreciate what you’ve done? Or customers who bitterly complains about every single thing they could find? Or perhaps you’re having a bad spell in your life where so many things have gone wrong and you cried “Why Me?”.

Did you let the resentment built up in your core?

So you put up a professional smile in spite of the bitter feeling you had. That’s what you have been trained to do. But did you let the ill feeling go or does it trickled into your heart without you even realising? Most people thought they are fine. Until one day they just blew up and didn’t even know what happened.

It is easier to manage your anger when you saw it coming. But when you let it build up in your system over time, the rage could overpower your logic and rational mind easily. Maybe you would not be aware of the anger that you held in your core. But there are certain conditions that could release those massively contained negative emotion in one shot.

How To Let Go Of The AngerStress and depression are often linked to anger outburst.

There is a few types or level of stress. A moderate amount of stress is healthy, as it spurred our progress and motivates us. But excessive stress would trigger our anger outburst easily.

There are times where you could be overwhelmed. Too many responsibilities that demand your time, which you do not have enough. The struggles in daily life, financial, career, relationship, and family could really take its toll. When you find that you couldn’t take it anymore, you do what your instinct told you too. You lash out furiously. You let anger took control and hope it would solve everything.

But it solved nothing, except adding more hurt and troubles. When you could not express your anger at those who caused it, you expressed at those who cared for you. Does this happen to you? (It did to me when I was of a younger age and did not know how to manage my anger)

So, how to let go of the anger, before it hurts you and others

Nope, I don’t do alcohol nor drugs. And I do not recommend to you either. But here’s a few way I do when stress and frustration build up, to channel the negative energy away.

1. I made the punching bag my best friend

How To Let Go Of The Anger

Image © MMA Gear Addict

It’s probably the safest place for you to vent your frustration and anger physically. Just make sure you got a proper punching glove and a trainer. OK, I’m digressing here. But if beating up a punching bag too violent and extreme to your liking, you can try working out at a gym nearby. You would just have to keep going until you are spent on your energy. And working out is good for your health anyway.

And I’m not kidding. Exercise could indeed reduce anger. You can check out this article here.

2. Love yourself (with food that reduces anger)

How To Let Go Of The Anger

 

Yes, a delicious meal definitely lifts up the mood. I was thinking in the line of ice creams and smoothies but did you know that there are certain foods that could reduce anger? To name a few: oysters, clams, scallops, mussels, blackberries, black soybeans, and the list goes on. (Just the thought of having a sumptuous meal would literally melt any of my ill-feeling away) And I did not make this up.

In Food & Life, a cookbook by Dr Nadia Wolf and Michelin Star Chef Joel Robuchon, you get to know the nutritional value of various ingredient and their effect on your physical and mental well-being. I bet you didn’t know you could eat your anger away.

3. Keep an anger journal

How To Let Go Of The Anger

When you are over the hill and has cool down a little, maybe it’s time to understand your anger emotion better. There is always a primary cause behind anger. Anger is just a form of natural protective mechanism. Do you get angry because of fear? Fear of losing control as you have tasks piling up?

No matter what is the cause of the anger, it helps to understand the nature of its occurrence. Take time to analyze your anger. You can even try to keep an anger journal(Here’s a detailed explanation of keeping an anger journal) It’s helpful to identify some familiar trigger that pushes you off.

4. Laughter is the Best Medicine

How To Let Go Of The Anger

Yes, it works for anger too. When you are seething with anger, laughter is probably the last thing on your mind. But that’s exactly what you should do. As you keep rehashing the incident that made you mad, you made the anger lived longer than it should. You are feeding it energy. Maybe you did this to feel good or to feel justified. But this is hurting you and is sure to put you into mental anguish.

So try taking your mind out of the issue. Turn on your favorite comedy or check out your favorite humor website. (Here’s a list) This is not to put you into denial. It’s just to calm down your mind by doing the opposite. You would have to address the issue objectively later. And nothing’s better than doing it with a clear, calm mind and perhaps with a pinch of humor.

5. Meditate

You must be thinking “Are you kidding? I should be busy getting even!!” Nope. I’m not kidding. If you want to experience hell in the present, just peek into your anguish mind. The anger, resentment, hatred; they are all tearing your mind to pieces. You are hurting no one except yourself. (And sleeping with an angry mind only made you feel worse the next day)

I know it could be impossible for you to meditate to calm your mind especially when your rage is still on full blast. That’s what Guided Meditation is for. And in this case, I’ve found one very good one. All that you need to do is to spare 30 minutes for your anger to be guided away.

I hope these 5 methods could help you to release some of your pent-up anger. Holding on to anger it’s like grasping on hot coals. Do share your own unique way of releasing anger in the comment section.

Kenny Lee
 

I am an engineer-turned-writer who once struggle with social anxiety. After overcoming problems inflicted by low self-esteem and the fear of interaction, I realize the need for taking a holistic approach in developing our mind. I'm sharing my experience, remedies, and techniques that interest me in my quest to be a better self.

Click Here to Leave a Comment Below 24 comments
IllusiozTan - July 17, 2016

Hi Kenny,

I am fully agreed with eating away the anger. Once a time, due to excessive work tension that built over time, the anger burst out one day and i get fired up over a small mistake done by my subordinates. My mind felt completely blank and i can’t think logically at that time.

Thanks to my friend who introduce me the method of eating away anger, i eat my favorite food twice to three times a week as a way to channel out my depress and tension. I am glad that you have shared about this in your blog.

I am looking forward to try out other methods that you share in your article

Reply
    Kenny Lee - July 17, 2016

    Hi,

    I can relate to your mistake at bursting out at your subordinate. I made this mistake too 5 years back. It was a regrettable action. Made me even committed to keeping anger in check.

    Kenny

    Reply
Gary - July 17, 2016

Excellent article on handling anger. Sometimes I struggle with anger myself. I actually use a few of these examples for handling anger. Instead of a punching bag I take myself to the gym though. It really helps to release a lot of stress I can have. Great article and the visuals are very nice.

Reply
    Kenny Lee - July 18, 2016

    Hi Gary,

    Working out at gym is really a good way to sweat out the anger. It’s just that sometimes there could be some residual feeling that is accumulating that we are not aware of.

    Thanks for reading.

    Kenny

    Reply
June Danks - July 17, 2016

Fascinating! It has opened my eyes on just how Anger, the cause, symptoms, how to identify can lead into a potential health risk or even a relationship breakdown. The Anger management ideas that you are promoting are certainly food for thought, literally! Never thought that a diet rich in shell fish, Blackberries etc.. can help in reducing Anger! Meditation is something that I am very keen to explore, I will be most definitely be looking further into your suggestions! An education and Anger is something that we all need to address, your help and advice is something that we should all adhere to!! Thank you. June

Reply
    Kenny Lee - July 18, 2016

    Hi June,

    Thanks for reading. Anger is one of the hardest emotion to master and the effect could be devastating to us and those around. Well, it was also the first time that I’ve known a Michelin Star chef suggesting food that reduces anger. Do try meditation, even if it’s not of clearing anger, it pushes your energy to a positive level.

    Kenny.

    Reply
Kevin Bulmer - July 18, 2016

Excellent! You and I are kindred spirits. I’m thrilled to see what you’re contributing. A great article and terrific site. Keep it up!
Best wishes,
Kevin

Reply
    Kenny Lee - July 19, 2016

    Hi Kevin,

    Thanks for the compliment. Sharing, learning and growing is part of the journey to success.

    Kenny

    Reply
Alice - July 18, 2016

Great article on letting go of anger. I didn’t know that there are foods that can reduce anger. I need to learn more about meditation, it seems to be good for overall well being. I usually write out my anger on paper. It helps to get it out without giving the anger to someone else.

Reply
    Kenny Lee - July 19, 2016

    Alice,

    It seems you are not the only one surprised about food that reduce anger. I was too when I was doing the research while writing on the post. And all these while I was thinking of chocolate gelatos and smoothies. I prefer on working out in the gym. Thanks for reading.

    Kenny

    Reply
Wendy - July 18, 2016

This is a very informative article that will help many people. A few years back I went through a very horrible divorce. And of course, I was angry. But I made a decision to move forward with my life and be happy. I think happiness is a choice. I decided to forgive him and let the anger go. I didn’t want to become a bitter woman. And by doing so, I have been able to open myself up for better things.

Reply
    Kenny Lee - July 19, 2016

    Hi Wendy,

    Well done to you for letting go of the anger. I think you are wise to realise that happiness is a choice. Forgiving someone is important to moving on in life. Thanks for reading.

    Kenny

    Reply
Sandeep - July 18, 2016

Great article on anger management Kenny, thanks. I especially relate to meditation and laughter as I have actually seen them being effectively used for calming down. I didn’t know about foods reducing anger, very interesting.

Reply
    Kenny Lee - July 19, 2016

    Hi Sandeep,

    I was actually writing this post to to address a friend’s problem of pent-up anger. It’s the first time I stumbled on food that reduce anger and start to take it seriously. Prior to this I definitely have read on certain foods that could lift up your mood.

    Kenny

    Reply
Vanessa - July 18, 2016

Wow. Great article. I know that we eat away our emotions as a coping mechanism for sadness or stress, but that there are foods that actually help you manage your anger is a shocker.

I’ll definitely be having some more blackberries and sushi (does that count as seafood?) the next time I feel this way. 😉

Reply
    Kenny Lee - July 19, 2016

    Hi Vanessa,

    There are other foods other than seafood according to the book Food & Life. I was thinking along the line of smoothies and gelato until I came across this book.

    Kenny

    Reply
Medu - July 26, 2016

I actively practise some of the solutions you have provided here. I neutralize anger by laughing a lot! You can even say too much. I also workout when my mood is off too. I know this has worked wonders for me because, even my closest friends haven’t seen me angry.

Reply
    Kenny Lee - July 26, 2016

    Hi,

    I’m glad that you have your anger management method right. Keep it up.

    Kenny

    Reply
Abhishek Bhatt - August 21, 2016

A great article and terrific site. Keep it up!
I didn’t know that there are foods that can reduce anger. I need to learn more about meditation,
I usually want to control my anger, but I cant’t able to control.

Reply
    Kenny Lee - August 21, 2016

    Hi Abhishek,

    Thanks for reading. With proper training of the mind, we are able to manage our anger.

    Kenny

    Reply
Darren - September 21, 2016

Anger management is drastically different for a whole lot of different people. In many cases, it takes some actual professional intervention to actually get that individual to calm down. Sometimes, the punching bag they have at their disposal is a complete stranger who eyed them funny or worse, their son or daughter.

On the topic of stress we all deal with it a lot differently and the same situation can have drastically different results on people. When I worked at Wonderland some staff were able to brush off the unkind words of the guests while a small number lost their jobs launching obscenities at dissatisfied customers.

I think the best advice I have for anger is “keep your anger contained within the situation at hand” because the times when you do get angry, you might not be able to meditate or have a punching bag at your disposal and legitimately laughing in a high stress situation is exceedingly difficult, even for the most calm individuals.

How do you deal with anger in the moment?

Reply
    Kenny Lee - September 21, 2016

    Hi Darren,

    Thank you for sharing your thoughtful comment.

    My strategy with anger is Contain, Observe and Dissipate.

    You are right when you say the moment people get angry, it’s hard for them to think straight. On the other hand, it’s not healthy when the anger that was contained become suppressed and not channeled out in a healthy way.

    I also believe that with certain training of the mind, we can become more aware of our emotion and are more adept in managing our own anger.

    What’s your opinion.?

    Cheers,

    Kenny

    Reply
      Darren - September 21, 2016

      Yes I think mediation can be very important and a studious student will reap the benefits overtime.

      I think anger management is all down to way you handle the cocktail of chemicals when you do get angry and how well you can control them. I don’t think you have any control over them and learning to control your anger is just like any other skill. I think it really comes down to your ability to immediately start calming yourself down the second you start feeling angry.

      Reply
        Kenny Lee - September 21, 2016

        Hi Darren,

        Truly agree. As with all skills, it takes time and practice and there’s really no excuse of not starting to manage our own anger.

        The consequences of giving in to anger can be too costly, damaged relationship, reputation, etc. All lost in a moment of rage.

        Cheers,
        Kenny

        Reply

Leave a Reply: