How To Let Go Of The Anger Before It Consumes You
Sometimes you react to your anger, sometimes you don’t. But did you let the emotion seep in and reside in you? And allow it builds up and explode when triggered? You can’t succumb to your anger and yet you can’t just let it build up like a volcano. It seems like there are not many choices in between. But it is possible to learn how to let go of the anger before it consumes you.
I think most of us would have mastered our emotion to a certain level. If you’ve been dealing with people in your career, you would have come across unreasonable people who are bound to get your blood boiling. You know those ever demanding clients who have no respect nor appreciate what you’ve done? Or customers who bitterly complains about every single thing they could find? Or perhaps you’re having a bad spell in your life where so many things have gone wrong and you cried “Why Me?”.
Did you let the resentment built up in your core?
So you put up a professional smile in spite of the bitter feeling you had. That’s what you have been trained to do. But did you let the ill feeling go or does it trickled into your heart without you even realising? Most people thought they are fine. Until one day they just blew up and didn’t even know what happened.
It is easier to manage your anger when you saw it coming. But when you let it build up in your system over time, the rage could overpower your logic and rational mind easily. Maybe you would not be aware of the anger that you held in your core. But there are certain conditions that could release those massively contained negative emotion in one shot.
There is a few types or level of stress. A moderate amount of stress is healthy, as it spurred our progress and motivates us. But excessive stress would trigger our anger outburst easily.
There are times where you could be overwhelmed. Too many responsibilities that demand your time, which you do not have enough. The struggles in daily life, financial, career, relationship, and family could really take its toll. When you find that you couldn’t take it anymore, you do what your instinct told you too. You lash out furiously. You let anger took control and hope it would solve everything.
But it solved nothing, except adding more hurt and troubles. When you could not express your anger at those who caused it, you expressed at those who cared for you. Does this happen to you? (It did to me when I was of a younger age and did not know how to manage my anger)
So, how to let go of the anger, before it hurts you and others
Nope, I don’t do alcohol nor drugs. And I do not recommend to you either. But here’s a few way I do when stress and frustration build up, to channel the negative energy away.
1. I made the punching bag my best friend
It’s probably the safest place for you to vent your frustration and anger physically. Just make sure you got a proper punching glove and a trainer. OK, I’m digressing here. But if beating up a punching bag too violent and extreme to your liking, you can try working out at a gym nearby. You would just have to keep going until you are spent on your energy. And working out is good for your health anyway.
And I’m not kidding. Exercise could indeed reduce anger. You can check out this article here.
2. Love yourself (with food that reduces anger)
Yes, a delicious meal definitely lifts up the mood. I was thinking in the line of ice creams and smoothies but did you know that there are certain foods that could reduce anger? To name a few: oysters, clams, scallops, mussels, blackberries, black soybeans, and the list goes on. (Just the thought of having a sumptuous meal would literally melt any of my ill-feeling away) And I did not make this up.
In Food & Life, a cookbook by Dr Nadia Wolf and Michelin Star Chef Joel Robuchon, you get to know the nutritional value of various ingredient and their effect on your physical and mental well-being. I bet you didn’t know you could eat your anger away.
3. Keep an anger journal
When you are over the hill and has cool down a little, maybe it’s time to understand your anger emotion better. There is always a primary cause behind anger. Anger is just a form of natural protective mechanism. Do you get angry because of fear? Fear of losing control as you have tasks piling up?
No matter what is the cause of the anger, it helps to understand the nature of its occurrence. Take time to analyze your anger. You can even try to keep an anger journal(Here’s a detailed explanation of keeping an anger journal) It’s helpful to identify some familiar trigger that pushes you off.
4. Laughter is the Best Medicine
Yes, it works for anger too. When you are seething with anger, laughter is probably the last thing on your mind. But that’s exactly what you should do. As you keep rehashing the incident that made you mad, you made the anger lived longer than it should. You are feeding it energy. Maybe you did this to feel good or to feel justified. But this is hurting you and is sure to put you into mental anguish.
So try taking your mind out of the issue. Turn on your favorite comedy or check out your favorite humor website. (Here’s a list) This is not to put you into denial. It’s just to calm down your mind by doing the opposite. You would have to address the issue objectively later. And nothing’s better than doing it with a clear, calm mind and perhaps with a pinch of humor.
You must be thinking “Are you kidding? I should be busy getting even!!” Nope. I’m not kidding. If you want to experience hell in the present, just peek into your anguish mind. The anger, resentment, hatred; they are all tearing your mind to pieces. You are hurting no one except yourself. (And sleeping with an angry mind only made you feel worse the next day)
I know it could be impossible for you to meditate to calm your mind especially when your rage is still on full blast. That’s what Guided Meditation is for. And in this case, I’ve found one very good one. All that you need to do is to spare 30 minutes for your anger to be guided away.
I hope these 5 methods could help you to release some of your pent-up anger. Holding on to anger it’s like grasping on hot coals. Do share your own unique way of releasing anger in the comment section.