Life has a way of hinting us when we are doing something wrong, but if we pay no attention to what it is trying to tell us, we will soon find our world crashing down one day and wondered what just happened. As we are humbly brought down to our knees in defeat, our confidence shattered, dreams dashed and we wondered what if we have done things differently.
As we plunged deeper into the state of negativity; regrets, anger, hatred, and disappointment washes over us. We are drawn into denials and blames as our mind weakens. But these do not last, as eventually, we gather our courage and look within, only to find us and our ego is to blame for all that happened.
Does the scenario above sound familiar? It is exactly what happened to me and I believe others are experiencing it as well. We all made mistakes and some grave enough that we are ashamed that we made it, as there is no way to make up for those mistakes.
There are things that once broken cannot be fixed. If you too are going through a similar scenario with me then you may have lived through a past that you are not proud of. You may wish to forget the past and to quickly move on in life. But for you to move on in life, you have to learn how to let go of your past in a manner that you do not carry any emotional baggage with you and you do not fear when your past revisit you again (Oh it sure will).
Do not be tempted to quickly brush off your past, and just move on in life as if you are a changed person and nothing has happened. Every single event in your life happens for a reason, good or bad. You have to look at your past, your character, attitude and be sincere in accepting every flaw that you showed.
Take a deep look at your actions and speech that may cause the eventual destruction of the life as you know it. Some feelings may resurface again: shame, guilt, regrets. But just let it come and go naturally. As you humbly accept your limitation as a human being.
By fully understanding your mind, thoughts, speech, and action as you once were, then there is only hope that you are aware and do not make the same mistake as you move on to another chapter of your life.
By fully understanding your mind, thoughts, speech, and action as you once were, then there is only hope that you are aware and do not make the same mistake as you move on to another chapter of your life. Know that as you are distancing yourself from your past, your mind has to change, but change does not come easily, especially if some habits have been around for decades.
The mind is the core of our thoughts, speech, behavior, and action. Any changes that do not start with our mind is superficial, and it is only time before you go back to your old pattern of living. It takes much longer time and effort than you think to finally rebuild yourself from your core. It is difficult but not impossible. You can only let go of your past when you do not harbor any negative emotion over it.
Moving on is a healing process. Once you have truly accepted and has made peace with all the mistakes that you have done, you will find that you are grateful to a certain degree that you have been foolish enough to be your own downfall. Because of that, you are now able to draw the greatest strength from your past as you vowed to never go back to how you once were.
You may have a tendency to flip to another extreme of your previous characteristic but this is the part that you’ve got to have control and not follow the flow of your emotion. Only strive to change the Negative aspect of your past and enhance the Positive side in you. If you need feedback, talk to your friends and family who have the best of your interest at heart for they will bear the whole truth to you, unpleasant as it is.
The fact is, you cannot just cut off your past, and jumped into the future. Life does not happen that way. But when you know how to let go gracefully of your regrets, guilts, shames, “what-if’s”, disappointment, anger, and other emotional baggage, you are removing any power that your past has on you. As you continue to do so, you will find that eventually, remnants of your past that resurface has no power over you. This is when you know you have truly moved on.
It is also equally important to have the correct expectation of your life as you have moved on from the ashes of your past. Learn well from your past. It is your best teacher. Here’s a good blog on that.
Life does not get easier, but you have grown tougher. The challenges that you will continue experience will relate to your new found strength. Have you made it this far?
I am an engineer-turned-writer who once struggle with social anxiety. After overcoming problems inflicted by low self-esteem and the fear of interaction, I realize the need for taking a holistic approach in developing our mind. I'm sharing my experience, remedies, and techniques that interest me in my quest to be a better self.
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