That’s how your confidence will look like when you fell from the top, wings clipped off, diving head down, and hitting rock-bottom with a shattering impact. Or it could be a slow painful process of trying and failing repeatedly over countless time before finally chipping off any confidence you have left. But how you fall does not matter in the long run, it’s how you regain your confidence that matters.
It could be very disheartening when everything you tried seems to show a lack of success. And you soon found that fear and doubt crept in, whispering words of uncertainties, as you now found yourself covered in doubt even when making a simple decision.
I’m not talking about losing confidence after one or two attempts. I’m talking about after trying for years, using up every resources and wit, and in the end, you found that every single step brings you back to square one.
I will share 5 quick tips that I personally used to recover my confidence each time I encountered major setback in my life.
One of the main reason we suffered from confidence breakdown is that we depend on others to validate our action. We let others define our success and our confidence built from there. If you are building your confidence from the validation of others, I suggest you stop doing that.
Why? Because confidence that depends on others is fragile, and could easily be broken when it matters most. And because if you build your confidence from within, it will be much stronger. When your confidence comes from within, you do not seek acceptance from others and is always self-assured and comfortable.
Self-confidence is the absence of ego. Note that ego and self-pride are very different. Ego blocks our senses whereas self-pride pushed us to give our best. There could be many reasons that cause our failure. Most are related to our ego-issue, our unwillingness to learn and take heed of sound advice.
There is a fine line between persistence and pure stubbornness. Sometimes we forgot where the line is. If your downfall is caused by your own mistakes, admit to it and face it right on. As this is the only way to learn and grow. Rebuilding your confidence is everything about learning and growing. And the faster you acknowledge your mistakes, the faster you will bounce back.
Identify your strength and weakness. Give full focus on your strength, continuously develop it stronger until you have an edge over others. Do not ignore your weaknesses either. Keep working on them one at a time.
Self-confidence comes from learning, continuously gaining new knowledge and TRYING it out in the real world. Knowing your limitation of strengths and WEAKNESSES is the sign of your confidence that rises from within.
Thinking that you have no weaknesses is pure foolishness. And learning comes from every single source. If you want to learn effectively, remove the words “I know” from your mind. These two words block any effective learning subconsciously. Remember, even the master could learn from the students.
“There is no growth in the comfort zone”
When you stay in the comfort zone for too long, you become complacent, and you start to doubt your abilities and skills. As insecurity crept in, you start making decisions that are guided by emotion, to compensate for these insecurities. It is no surprise that the results are often disappointing.
Always try something new that will put you out of your comfort zone. This is a process that needs to be repeated constantly. It is our nature to lean towards what’s comfortable. Everything becomes a comfort zone after a while.
Big or small, you need to celebrate it. Winning makes you feel good and there is absolutely no reason not to celebrate that. I know, there will be some people who will try to play it down, indicating this could be “Showing Off Your Victory”.
But let me put this straight, any success or victory, no matter the size, takes hundreds or thousands of combined hours and resources to achieve. Plus, you will need the emotional high of success as momentum to drive you in your next challenge. So please, celebrate it, you at least deserve that.
So if your confidence is on the low, I hope you stop all the overthinking that keep you down. Stand back up. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and take action now. And if you have your own way to boost up your confidence, I will be delighted if you can share in the comment section.
I am an engineer-turned-writer who once struggle with social anxiety. After overcoming problems inflicted by low self-esteem and the fear of interaction, I realize the need for taking a holistic approach in developing our mind. I'm sharing my experience, remedies, and techniques that interest me in my quest to be a better self.
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