What To Do When You Feel Like Giving Up (With Video)

By Kenny Lee | Confidence

May 27

 

difficult road

Difficult Roads Often Leads To Beautiful Destination

“Difficult Roads Often Leads To Beautiful Destination”

But how long does the road stretches? How long do we need to stay on the road? Is there really an end to the road, as beautiful as we hoped? Or does it runs endlessly?

If you have been having a tough life, whether by your own choosing in pursuit of your dreams, or forced upon you by life itself, grit and determination have brought you this far. The patience that you have would wear out in time. And at times, you would question your action and your sacrifice as you began to tire, physically, mentally and emotionally.

And it would be one day where days become months and months become years, yet there is not a hint of the results you seek. You would wake up and told yourself with a heavy heart “This is insane, I’m so tired of trying, I’m giving up“. You would long for the old life, of what has been, and would glad to trade anything for this burden to be lifted off your shoulder.

There is no shame and no guilt, to have such feeling, for I’ve been there and done that. And before you made any major decision right now of throwing in the towel, I would suggest you take a deep breath, try to relax your mind and read what I’m about to share. I’m not sure it would reignite the fire for you to continue your journey but it’s worth a try.

There Will Be No End To Your Road

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Your Journey Is A Spiral

And the road is not straight. I’m not going to sugar coat the truth, but you need to set your expectation right.

First, one of the reasons you feel like giving up is because you fail to see the light at the end of your path. You will need to change your mindset. Do not think of your journey as a straight line. Instead, think of it as a spiral that goes out from the center point.

Second, forget of reaching an end to your road. Whatever goals you aim to achieve, it is just a milestone along the way. As soon as you achieved them, it becomes another starting point of another journey.

This is a more realistic picture of what you are going through and where you are heading. You do not see the light at the end because light does not bend. You will hit your goal when you are there.

Rediscovering Your Purpose

If you are already at the point of throwing in the towel, surrendering to life, conceding defeat, then you are almost empty. I’m talking about the burning fire that once set you down the path, is barely a flicker now. You need to stop right now. Sometimes when we walk for too long a time, we would eventually be consumed in the act of walking, that we would forget the reason why we even started in the first place.

So, take some time away, and reflect back, what prompts you to take this path back then, knowing it could be difficult. Does the same purpose that motivates you back then, motivates you now? If it doesn’t, re-discover your purpose, BUT don’t change the goal and the dream.

Build Your Capacity, Keep Your Focus

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What’s Your Capacity?

If you want to create a rainbow, you need rain and sunshine, and the rainbow would manifest itself when the conditions are right. Rather than focus on the goal, focus on the people who come along the way and the challenges that are thrown to you.

Learn how you can turn them into opportunities. If you imagined your journey as a path spiraling away from the center, then you would also notice the pattern of encountering the similar challenges, time and again, perhaps only more challenging.

As the challenges increase in difficulty, we too must grow in capacity. Anyone can have many different skills, but as we moved further, those who have depth and focussed set of skills will thrive. Build capacity, learn and grow. You need to be stronger.

Rome Was Not Built In A Day

Don’t expect that your success will come overnight. Such thinking is unrealistic, and more often than not, brings disappointment. Instead, treat each day like the last of your life, and you will have the urgency to move diligently. Every single step you take matters, although you would not realize that yet.

If you need further motivation to keep going, I would suggest watching the short video clip below, which I first saw shared on my social media.

If you are reading this, and in need of a lift in the spirit, or stopping the rut, I hope this post serves its purpose. Either way,  do share with me your story. Have you ever been on the brink of giving up? What was your decision?

About the Author

I am an engineer-turned-writer who once struggle with social anxiety. After overcoming problems inflicted by low self-esteem and the fear of interaction, I realize the need for taking a holistic approach in developing our mind. I'm sharing my experience, remedies, and techniques that interest me in my quest to be a better self.

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(12) comments

Arief May 27, 2016

Thank you so much for reminding me that Rome was not built in a day.

I needed this as I’m travelling on my journey to find my financial freedom. It is not easy. I love it when you said to make a rainbow, you need both rain and sunshine.

Reply
    Kenny Lee June 1, 2016

    Hi Arief,

    All the best with your quest to financial freedom. Nothing worthwhile is ever easy. Keep it up.

    Kenny

    Reply
Dr Brad May 27, 2016

This is so true.
Life is a set of one goal after the other, always moving forward. I like to visualise my life, and keep heading on the direction I have set for myself. Sometimes I go off course, but that is okay. It just takes some course correction along the way.

It is like driving a car, if you just hold the steering wheel rigid, eventually you will crash! It needs constant correction and input form the driver (YOU!)

Reply
    Kenny Lee June 1, 2016

    Dr. Brad,

    I like the your analogy of holding the steering, we just have to be open minded enough to accept mistakes and improvise in life. There are so many people who has much to offer to us if we are willing to listen. Thanks for reading.

    Kenny

    Reply
James W D May 27, 2016

I have journeyed down the path of giving up before and thankfully was pulled back onto the main line by good friends.

As I matured into life after that I came to realize that life was not about reaching the end, but rather living it in every single moment. When you take away the worries about tomorrow and the regrets of yesterday and focus on all of the good things that are in your life right now, well let’s just say that is some powerful medicine.

Even more recently I have learned to act on my values on a more intricate level and this has also helped greatly in keeping the “depressions” away.

Reply
    Kenny Lee June 6, 2016

    Hi James,

    I’m glad that we shared the same belief of living in the present. And just like you, I was blessed with some good friends who were supportive and yet non-judgemental during the turning point of my life. Thanks for reading. I’ve been enjoying your blog as well.

    Kenny

    Reply
letsexploremusic May 27, 2016

Well written..yea difficult roads often lead to beautiful destinations.
And hardships are what make us stronger , so we gotta look at them as oppurtunities to improve ourselves.

Reply
    Kenny Lee June 6, 2016

    Hi,

    Thank you for reading. Hardships are indeed opportunities to improve ourselves. It depends on our mindset, how positive we are in the eyes of storm.

    Kenny.

    Reply
Jill May 27, 2016

Interesting. I just recently read the story of the bamboo, can’t even remember where. Then I see the video on your post. Coincidence? Regardless, this is motivation I need. Seems I’m spinning my wheels, but maybe I’m actually watering the bamboo.

Reply
    Kenny Lee June 6, 2016

    Hi,

    I hope success will find you eventually. If we’re stuck, let’s change our path, not our goal.

    Kenny

    Reply
Kirill May 27, 2016

Hi, Kenny!
As many others, I felt emptied and exhausted while trying to achieve difficult goals at some points of my life. I know the feeling you’re talking about- that all efforts I’m taking are useless. It takes a lot to overcome it.
At this point, I had to take a fresh look at what I’m doing and re-evaluate my purposes. I agree with you that it is possible to lose the purpose of what are you doing it for from your sight. Reminding myself what my motivation helps me to realize what can I change in my approach. It works well, unless, of course, my purpose has changed.

Reply
    Kenny Lee June 6, 2016

    Hi,

    It is natural that we tried to move as fast as we can to reach our goal. But there are times slowing down could make things clearer and helps us move back to our path if we stray.

    Kenny

    Reply
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